I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
