just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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