So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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