I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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