Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Of course I have a pirate flag
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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