problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
