She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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