Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
being pregnant is like rehab
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
