She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
