the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
