Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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