paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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