I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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