I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
