Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
