I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
