i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Quick, to the slutcave!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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