I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
