ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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