We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
two words...techno handjob
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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