Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
