...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
