thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
