she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
