I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
