at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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