Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
