The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
