yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
worst night to have a conscience
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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