Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
