She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
we're so committed to being not committed
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
