so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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