Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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