I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
