But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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