Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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