So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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