Duck Duck Cougar?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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