Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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