You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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