I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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