Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
