I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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