im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
