I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Houston, we have a squirter
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
