When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
