Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
