I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
