just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
