I wannas sexs uuuuu
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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